Strong People: Finding the Value in Self Care

Self Care...

A topic of discussion typically only among the weak or misguided in life right? Wrong. Too many times have I heard "strong people" make mention of "sucking it up", "just doing it" and "grinding 24/7/365". My goal today is to help you draw an educated conclusion on practices of self care, how to integrate self care into your hectic schedule, and help you find the value.

 

Afterall, the way you care about yourself will flow in to the way others believe you care about them...

What is Self Care?

When many think of self care, they think of luxuries or pampering. While luxuries and pampering may sometimes play a role in self care, it is necessary to realize that luxury will not help you long term and is only a temporary relief.

In my research, I found two definitions of self care that I most associate my own persoanl care with:

• " One’s understanding and behavior that helps to build a healthy mind, body and spirit for himself and others."  - Mark Gibson MA, CSMC

• "Self care is personal health maintenance. It is any activity of an individual, family or community, with the intention of improving or restoring health, or treating or preventing disease."

• I was personally taught that for women self care meant getting your hair done, nails done, massages or other luxuries of indulgence; while for men self care meant time away from the kids, a six pack of beer, blasting music in the car, and watching ESPN. You know, just "not caring for awhile". Well, self care is just the opposite of not caring - it's caring! While there is not necessarily anything wrong with indulging from time to time in luxury, or "lazy activities", it is important to recognize that these behaviors are not self care behaviors. Which leads me to my next point of interest...

How Do We Practice Self Care & What Are Considerations?

• Set a Focus - First and foremost,  you must set a focus for yourself. You are using your self care time to focus on your specific needs. What is it that's bothering you? Stressing you out? What needs to be addressed? Is it primarily physical pains, emotional pain or just recurring stress that keep running through your mind? Depending on your needs and priority, you will then determine your self care practice. For instance, if your body is aching perhaps your self care if yoga. On the other hand if your entire life seems to play in fast forward, maybe you just need silence.

• Timing - It's imporant to make self-care a priority, not optional. Choose a daily time to practice your self-care and plan accordingly. Self care is just that - by yourself!

• Location - Your location should be serene and free of distractions. Turn your cell phone on silent, and eliminate interruptions. If you're practicing self care admist chaos, you will not reap the benefits. Choose your room, car, a park or any place you are free from others.

• Prayer / Meditation - Allow yourself quite time to be with your thoughts, reflect on your day and allow your own spiritual growth to flourish. This may mean prayer, meditation, mental training techniques or simple silence.

• Exercise / Physical Activity - Exercise and moving is a great way to preserve your temple, get your endorphins flowing, feel good, and develop confidence in yourself both internally and externally. However in excess, some of us (I have been guilty!), spend ALL of our self care in the gym. This can lead to unhealthy mental behaviors especially in a hectic schedule. Yes, I am a Personal Trainer who said spending ALL of your alone time in the gym can potentially be unhealthy long-term. It is extremely important to find a balance of hard work, and true rest.

• Affirmations / Goal Setting - This is a great way to affirm within your being exactly WHO YOU ARE. This practice can be great in helping you determine your imbalances, as well as staying focused on the positive. Setting aside time for your goals, visions, dreams and building confidence on a mental level will help you feel better about all aspects of your life.

• Read / Write - Anything of your choice. Studying an area of passion or interest can also be a self care practice. Reading or writing can also help you feel connected with something marvelous; while being disengaged from the world your perceive around you. You can explore new thought processes and ideas for yourself, or just simply relax.

I hope you can realize that strength comes from disciplining yourself enough to listen to not just the chaos, but also the silence...

Remember! No one else will want to care for you unless you care for yourself. In the same light, you cannot care rightfully for another if you don't first take care of yourself!